Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Age of Innocence

Age of Innocence

There's this young, bubbly girl (4th standard or so) who swims fiercely and makes friends with every person she comes across at the pool I go to.
Today morning, as I finished a lap and came to the edge, I asked her,
"How many laps so far?"
She didn't reply.

After a moment's pause, she said,
"Don't feel bad, but you look like Virat Kohli."
Me shocked, mouth wide open,

"You look like Virat Kohli. Like his brother or something..."

Me, regaining my senses,
"Thank you. I don't feel bad about it at all."

She took a deep breath and swam away.

#AgeOfInnocence #MeBlushes

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Empire Bars Subjects from Giving Exam

Empire Bars Protesting Colonial Subjects from Civils Test

Dystopia: Two colonial subjects from India, Sarojini N and Annie B, have been refused permission to write the civil service entrance examination of the Empire because they were involved in protests on the territory as subjects there.

The subjects came to know this when the approached the Empire on Dryday after they were unable to procure hall passes. They were told hall passes would not be issued to them as they had participated in protests at the Empire apart from being involved in protests in Another Empire (Almighty Viceroy, the nerve!).

Both are common subjects at the Centre for Common Sense at Another Empire and had applied for the Civils diploma in Common Sense at the Empire. Sarojini is the miscellaneous secretary of the Freedom for Subjects Association at Another Empire. Annie is the activities secretary of the same organization (See, see, how they are professional troublemakers?). 

This is not the first time that subjects have been denied hall passes for the Civils exam for this reason. Last decade Chandrasekhar A was not allowed to take the test as he had participated in a broccoli eating event on the territory (and we all know eating broccoli is dishonourable and against the Empirical Culture).

Empire Doctor, Lord Kensington, said, “There is an empirical rule (which are subject to change according to the whims of the Empirical Heads, everyone accepts and abides by) which does not allow subjects involved in acts of insubordination to scribe the entrance exam. The two subjects were present at almost every other trouble at the Empire when they were here (there are photographic records, of course - Big Sister always watches you). The Empire is very serious about ensuring subordination on the territory and not allowing such subjects to spoil the atmosphere (which is already being accused of global warming and climate change, which we know is false liberalist propaganda) . I told them they have the option of pleading to the Viceroy/Big Sister and asking to be allowed to give the test.”

Proclaimer: Any resemblance to the information given in this article to things that you could have heard is purely not-so-coincidental

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